NITPICKING FIFTY SHADES OF GREY: THE UNAVOIDABLE POST

Source: 50 shade of cake

Many people hate or love this book for various reasons.  Possibly depending on whether they find it a turn on, with its redheaded-grey eyed romantic lead*, or whether they find the naive protagonist a huge boner killer.  I received this as a gift and tried to read it, but I just couldn’t.  Why?

This may be particular to me, but…the book is written in first person, present tense, which is like trying to get off on a picture of…no, I really shouldn’t go there.

Compare:

1st person, present tense:  I look in the mirror and wink at myself and think: what a good-looking female I am!  Then I take a walk in the park.

1st person, past tense:  I looked in the mirror and winked at myself and thought: what a good-looking female I was!  Then I took a walk in the park.

Past tense always sounds at least ten times less ridiculous, no matter what you happen to be saying (to yourself).   This was too much of a roadblock for me; it was the mental florescent lighting that blotted out all potential sexy good times.  That 50 shades of cake, however, I would totally eat.

* As an aside, do you find the concept of a man with grey eyes and red hair a turn on?  I kept trying to picture this in a sexy light and failed repeatedly.  I will further add that my imagination is rock solid.
* Did anyone else read Archie comics as a kid?  That’s who my imagination kept turning to. var _gaq = _gaq || []; _gaq.push([‘_setAccount’, ‘UA-38185031-1’]); _gaq.push([‘_trackPageview’]); (function() { var ga = document.createElement(‘script’); ga.type = ‘text/javascript’; ga.async = true; ga.src = (‘https:’ == document.location.protocol ? ‘https://ssl’ : ‘http://www’) + ‘.google-analytics.com/ga.js’; var s = document.getElementsByTagName(‘script’)[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s); })();

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2 thoughts on “NITPICKING FIFTY SHADES OF GREY: THE UNAVOIDABLE POST

  1. shivasnotes says:

    I gruntingly read some of this book only ONLY only because I heard that Ian Somerhalder was up for the part of the main character. So the entire time, I imagined Ian Somerhalder, not some weird red-headed grey-eyed guy (Is this possible genetically even?).

    Like

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