I was walking and chatting with my friend, N. the other day. I don’t remember what we were talking about, but I could tell that she was unhappy. Her expression and her words didn’t quite match; something was off. What she was unhappy about, I really didn’t know, so I did what I thought a normal person would do, and asked if she was okay. She didn’t look surprised, but she said she was fine. I said: Really? Are you sure? She replied: Yeah, I’m fine. Then I dropped it. This is because N., for me, falls into the ambiguous murky region of friendship that I call the 60%.
It’s perplexing, because one of the aspects of a true friendship is sharing. I wasn’t asking N. about her problems out of some vile nosy curiosity, but to see if I could help. If the sharing doesn’t happen, then you are only able to sense something that should be talked about, and then go about ignoring it, which is weird. I’ve done it, but it’s weird.
On the other end of the spectrum, are friends who are not ambiguous, at all:
Your 100% Friend: It’s 3:27am. You are hiding in the closet with a baseball bat, because some mouth breather has broken into your apartment and is going through your drawers. Before you call 911 like a sane person, you text…your 100% Friend: OMFG Man! OMFG! MF is in my house! Need to KICK ASS!! Call 911. Thx. : D
The Acquaintance: Hello there. I probably know you from work, where you are my superior, and a tightass. Did you see [insert name of oscar nominated film here]? Pretty good, wasn’t it? Yeah. Well, I’d better get back to work to finish that project before deadline! Hahaha…
I sometimes really miss these clear cut lines.