THE NEW CORSET

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I once worked with a girl* who said it cost her, ideally, $400 per month, to maintain herself.  This included such necessities as waxing (This was shared in gratuitous detail which I will not include here.  It’s for the best.), tanning, hair cut and color, manicure and pedicure, and probably some other procedures that she didn’t have time to share.  Oh, and by the way, neither of us are models.  This was not so that she looked spectacular every month, they were just maintenance costs.  You know, to look normal.

I thought then, as I do now, that that was insane.  Do you know what I could do with an extra $400 per month?  Then, it occurred to me that I and my high horse might be in the minority, and this might be very normal for the average female, like an extra tax for having a uterus, or the monetary equivalent of a corset – that other pointless thing that every female used to have to wear to look “normal.” And now is associated with kinky sex.  Progress?

For a descent into grossness, read on.  If not, then do not proceed.


Should I go there?  Should I go down there?  Oh, well, whatever…so Brazilians.  I just picked up How to be a Woman by Caitin Moran, who I will discuss later, because I have to, because she is awesome and amazing, and also just a really good read.  I really don’t understand this trend.  Did you know that 13 year old girls are now spending money they don’t have on Brazilians?

This is horrifying on two levels because:
1) I never want to be a 13 year old girl ever again.
2) This trend probably stems from fact that the first crotch children are exposed to probably belongs to a hairless professional, aka from watching online porn.**

Do you think this is true?  Have we come to associate hairlessness with hygiene?  How much should someone spend to maintain themselves?

*By “girl,” I mean any female between the ages of 5 and 99.  I just like the term “girl.”
** Courtesy of Ms. Moran.  This would never have occurred to me on my own.

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