I’ve never wanted to be a bridesmaid. Is that odd? I have friends who get very excited, and some people consider it an honor to be a part of the bridal party. I understand the feeling of belonging, of being part of your friend’s big day. I want my friends to be happy. It just happens that this part of friendship seems to come with a lot of work and money. Traditionally, and I might be wrong here, you have to:
- buy the bridesmaid dress
- pay for dress alterations
- organize and pay for the bridal shower, including travel and accommodations + gift for bride
- organize and pay for the bachelorette party, including travel and accommodations + gift for bride
- wedding gift
That seems like a lot of money and work, and I would feel awful making my friends do that, and on the other hand, I wouldn’t feel bad if I didn’t have to.
That aside, my friend told me that she didn’t ask me to be a bridesmaid because she remembered how we had discussed how much it would suck to be a bridesmaid and she didn’t want to put me on the spot. It’s true that I wouldn’t have refused – I would be a
asshole jerk if I said no. It’s an opportunity to help a friend, and when a friend asks for help, you just give. And pony up.
As a further aside, whenever I think “bridesmaid,” I think “handmaiden,” that old hag that had to brush the beautiful princess’s hair late at night after a day full of royal princessian activities, at which time the handmaiden had had to clean the royal bedchamber. This is pretty much how I would picture myself during the wedding festivities – swanning around as part of a match set of bridal accessories in some ugly satin number with a train that drags along the floor. Probably strapless.