A Wedding As Simple As I can Make It


Wedding season is approaching, and there seems to be a lot of buzz about what to wear, what to register for, and the like.  My inner contrarian decided to share my experiences, and my vain attempt to have the most minimal wedding possible.

Attempt #1: the Civil Ceremony

I tried to get away with a simple civil ceremony.  It was legal, simple, and effective.  The above is my wedding dress.  It’s not white, it’s not long, and I bought it used a few days prior.  I always appreciate the complete strangers who have good taste, and are my approximate size at Crossroads.  I went to work earlier in the day, then took off in the dress through heavy traffic down highway I-80 to meet my intended.  We got married, and the day was perfect in every way.  I had hoped that would be the end of it, but alas, that was not to be…


Attempt #2: the Reception

I have parents, who I adore, and who made it very clear to me how disgraceful my actions had been, because what did I have to hide by clouding my wedding in secrecy?  I could only redeem myself by helping them plan an appropriate wedding reception.  Here is what I have done to minimize personal aggravation and costs:

Venue and Food: Asian restaurant with fixed menu.  I have been to my share of weddings held at beautiful wineries and lodges where the fish has been dry and the meat has been wet. There is frequently not enough food, which the Asian in me believes is a bad value.  This, I believe, is due to the service being provided by catering companies who are not in the daily business of making large quantities of food for large groups of people. Restaurants, however, are in this business and they are experienced in precisely the types of dishes that they list in their fixed menu. This may not sound romantic, but so far I have not found the process of reception planning particularly amorous.

Dress: I am having one made, and it is not a wedding dress.  I did not say couture. I went to an experienced tailor who will make a dress that fits my short person measurements.  He had sample dresses available, and I chose one of them. It will cost slightly less than a dress bought at full price at Saks or some store of that nature, and I will not then have to have the dress altered separately to fit my short self. Bonus.

Flowers:  Yelp was my best friend. I scoured the local area to find a woman who was able to provide small affordable arrangements.  Alternately, I would have had to make these arrangements myself, likely the night before so they wouldn’t die during the reception.

Wedding Cake: When I last looked this up, cakes were going for $6 a slice, which would have eventually cost the amount of my monthly rent. I am going to go to a cake store, find a cake I like, buy it in three different sizes, and arrange them together (artfully?) with a wedding cake topper.

Wedding Favors: I found this unnecessary, and generally something that people tend to throw away, but buckled under the pressure of my mother’s tears and found some small tins off amazon to fill with candy.

These as what I have found to be minimal elements of my humble reception. As a personal indulgence, I am going to pay someone to do my hair and makeup, because I am certain to eyelash glue my eyelids shut if I attempt any of it myself.




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